How to be a Better Parent: Maintaining Personal Ingregrity | The Savings Wife

Monday, October 14, 2013

How to be a Better Parent: Maintaining Personal Ingregrity

Want to be a better parent?  Check out this series to give you a refresher and some tips on being the best parent you can.  Everyone no matter how good of a parent they are can stand for a refresher.

This is the first of the series of 5 lessons designed to help you become an even better parent.  Read parts: 2,3,4,5.

Part 1: Maintaining Personal Integrity

Some families are born with what is called generational sins.   Although each person is responsible for their own sins some sins are prevalent in families.   For example:   A dad thinks it OK to look at porn or to stare at women in a lust-filled manner.  So a son sees the parents behavior and he does the same. The son will have some of the same struggles the dad did.  This is what I mean by the term "generational sin".  By stopping the pattern in one generation others generations sin can be stopped in the next one.  As a parent you are setting your children up for generational sins if you don't closely watch yourself.   It's not just the acts but the ideals of a parent that set a child up for failure.  If a mom dwells on the fact she is fat or overweight, self esteem issues will also rise up in the next generation.

Let's look at some scriptures that talk about generational sin.  

David Made a mistake in taking Bathsheba as his wife and killing Uriah the Hittite.  If you remember the story he was betrayed by his son later in life.
2 Samuel 12:10, 11 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.' "This is what the LORD says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight.
Word of caution: Lets be clear on this. Generational sin does happen but kids are not held accountable for their parents sin. However, that does not mean that the consequences of the parents sin will not touch them. Think of what happens in a family when divorce occurs because of adultery. The kids are the innocent victims and often blame themselves when they don't understand why a parent leaves.
Ezekiel 18:20: The one who sins is the one who will die. The child will not share the guilt of the parent, nor will the parent share the guilt of the child. The righteousness of the righteous will be credited to them, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against them.

Kids see the bad stuff!

We have to be careful with what we do because kids will always see the bad stuff and the hypocrisy of the parent and follow the example.  My grandma used to say, "Never start smoking" as she smoked.  Needless to say I decided to try it as a teenager.  Although I heard what she said her actions spoke louder. Sometimes even hearing the punishment or the consequences of the parent will not deter them if the parent is continuing in the harmful action or sin.
Ezekiel 20:23-24: Also I swore to them in the wilderness that I would scatter them among the nations and disperse them among the lands, because they had not observed My ordinances, but had rejected My statutes and had profaned My sabbaths, and their eyes were on the idols of their fathers.
2 Chronicles 33:21, 22: Amon was twenty-two years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem two years. He did evil in the eyes of the LORD, as his father Manasseh had done. Amon worshiped and offered sacrifices to all the idols Manasseh had made. 

Once a child has grown to maturity, no matter what the parents mistakes or strengths, they  are now responsible to make their own choice or follow the acts of the parents. Sometimes generational sins get broken and sometimes they start.  

1 Samuel 8:1-3: And it came about when Samuel was old that he appointed his sons judges over Israel. Now the name of his firstborn was Joel, and the name of his second, Abijah; they were judging in Beersheba. His sons, however, did not walk in his ways, but turned aside after dishonest gain and took bribes and perverted justice.

To do the best for your kids take these words to heart and watch the example you are giving them. 

Psalm 112: 1-2: Praise the LORD. Blessed are those who fear the LORD, who find great delight in his commands. Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.
Proverbs 20:7: The righteous lead blameless lives; blessed are their children after them.

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