How do you put your husband first? | The Savings Wife

Friday, July 12, 2013

How do you put your husband first?

I have always been taught that God was to be my highest priority, followed by husband. Everything else was to fall in line behind those two priorities. And I agree with that to this day. The trouble is, often what I believe to be true is not consistent with the choices I actually make. I was convicted recently, yet again, that my sweet husband had again taken the backseat in my daily comings and goings. Sometimes everything else seems so important and he is so steady and faithful that it is easy to take him for granted.

So, I thought it would be encouraging for growth to investigate practical ways that a wife can "prefer" her husband to the other things she has in her life. I mean, what are some ways that I can move from simply believing that my husband should be a priority to actually living that out. Here's a few starter ideas:

Over Self:

I can prefer him over myself by encouraging him to spend time doing things he enjoys, even if it means taking time away from me and the kids. He actually really likes being with us and is not an initiator so there have been a few times that I have actually planned things for him and then pushed him out the door with assurances that it was okay.

I have been talking about this one recently with some of my awesome Christian girlfriends. We are encouraging each other to make a more frequent effort toward intimacy. I know it's important to him and I usually even admit it's important to me...when I am able to get over my own selfish excuses.

Over Kids:

Both of my kids go through phases of wanting nothing to do with their own beds. They just want to spend the night snuggling with Mommy. And part of me would love to do this, especially when they're crying so emphatically to come downstairs. But I believe it's a matter of choosing my husband over my kids to insist that my kids sleep in their own beds. This gives the two of us time to spend together before we go to bed.

I know some women make it a rule to enforce 10 minutes of uninterrupted conversation with their husbands when they come home from work. I think this is a wonderful rule but I can't seem to get my kids to stop talking for 1 minute, much less 10. Anyone do this well who has tips?

We have been scheduling dates nights once a month (doing a child-care swap with friends of ours) for over a year. It's wonderful for us to have time to be together without the kids and not just at the end of the day when we're exhausted. We recently added a second date night each month, swapping kids with other friends of ours. Those two nights are my favorite nights of the month!

Over Others:

I like to plan fun events ahead on the calendar. Most of the time there's not a problem when the day rolls around for the planned event. But sometimes, our family life seems stressed and I have to realize that I need to put my husband (and family) before those events with other people. Sometimes this means a last-minute cancelling of plans.

This one is kind of silly, but I've actually cleaned the bathroom with this thought in mind! When I clean the guest powder room, I am working toward my guests' comfort. It is really easy for me to skip a week cleaning our master bathroom because, hey, my husband and I are the only ones who will see it. But it would be preferring my husband to my guests if I kept his bathroom equally as clean for his comfort.

Written by Megan Lagoy
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