A Different Kind of Headache! | The Savings Wife

Friday, September 21, 2012

A Different Kind of Headache!

A Study on Song of Solomon or Song of Songs.

How to make your sex relationship better, Song of Solomon, how to choose a great mate


This book is the ideal book on relationships starting with dating, marriage and after marriage. It has a lot of information on sex and since this chapter was all about learning and sex and the Bible is a best place to start. It also gives us a good idea on God's plan for sex and what the gift of sex can be like.   



For this study you will need your Bibles.  Let's go through the verses together! It's divided by chapter to make it easy for you and give you time to mediate on the scripture.  

Dating and Preparing for marriage:

Chapter 1-2 and part of chapter 3 deal with dating and attributes for a Mate/Spouse: 
Men pay attention you will see what a woman wants.  Women pay attention to when Solomon talks you will see what a man wants:  

Chapter 1

v1: Tells us who wrote the book:  Solomon

She says:  

v2: I want an Affectionate and loving man
v3: This verse talks of anointing oils, think of it as perfume for men. They didn't have deodorant or take baths      as regularly as we do. She wants a well groomed man who is respected
v4: Draw me after you: She wants a leader and she is also day dreaming about sex with him.
v5-v6: She wants a man who is accepting. Dark people in this time are usually the working class. You wanted to be white. She was embarrassed how dark she was. Notice the word vineyard. Vineyard is her body.
v7-8: A man who is approachable. She wants to be more to him than his companions. She calls him a Shepard here and in verse 8 he tell her to be beside the shepherds tent. That means him.

He says:

v8-10: He is an Affirming man. He affirms her “Fairest among women and talks of her body how lovely she is.
v10,11: He wants someone to adorn with jewelry.

She says:

v12: She wants closeness. Women put bags of scent between breasts for perfume.
v14: She wants to be refreshed. En-gedi is an Oasis.

He says:

v15-v16: He wants her to be attracted also to him. Eyes are doves: Doves stayed loyal to one mate. Sort of saying “Only have eyes for you”
v16: She is charming
v17: He wants her to go on outings with him. Couch is green is reference to grass, trees, pinetrees. Sort of picnic in the grass type of things.

Chapter 2

He Says:

v2: Exclusivity; He is telling her she is the only one for him.

He says:

v3: She tells him he is her first choice too and that he creates some Powerful Feelings of love sickness in her.
v4: She wants to feel loved.
v5: Raisins were an aphrodisiac. She is telling of her desires for him and again daydreaming.
v6: This is her desire to be close to him and him to fondle her. Note positions of hands here. This is still part of her dream not what is happening at this time.
v7: Do not stir up or awaken love until it is ready. Not until marriage.

***special note here for single people. It's ok to day dream of your mate but notice he hasn't even kissed her yet. She is telling him her desire for him. Don't stir up or awaken love until is is ready is a warning to not start down the road that leads to sex.

v8-v14: She is excited about the wedding day. She is physically attracted to him and likes the whole package of him.
Weddings in Biblical times were a bit different. Husbands and wifes would be chosen for each other often at birth by their parents as they come of age the husband would talk to the father of his bride and they would be engaged. Then the Husband would go and prepare his house and the wedding feast and party. Then he would go to get his wife and the marriage ceremony/party would begin. The party lasted 3-7 days in which that time the husband and wife would consummate (have sex) in the marriage in the marriage chamber, while the party went on outside the room.
v15: Foxes used to eat the the grapes in the vineyards. What they are saying here is to resolve difficulties before they get big.
v16: They belong to one another. She wants him to hurry to come to her.

Chapter 3:

She says:

v1. She really really loves this guy.
v2: She looks for him to catch a glimpse
of him.
v3. She couldn't imagine a life without him. She inquires of him.
v4: She held him and took him to her house. The Chamber that conceived me is talking here of having parental blessing. She does not hide him from her parents.

***single note: You need to have your parents approve of your future mate. They know you the best and they want the best for you. Don't date in secret. Also again you have the warning in v.5 Don't waken love until it is ready.

v5. Don't awaken love until it is ready.

The Wedding:
v6-v11WEDDING PROCESSION:  I would have loved to have seen this wedding.  
v11: In tradition of weddings the mother put a laurel wreath on her son when she approved of his marriage.

Honeymoon and sex 101:
Those of you who are married this is where the teaching about sex starts.  If you are not married I suggest you stop reading.   The warning don't awaken love until it is ready applies here.

Chapter 4 

v1-3: He starts with sweet talk and a facial focus.
He comments her on her eyes, her hair, her teeth, lips, mouth and checks. Kissing is going on here.
v4. He pays attention to her neck
v5. He they goes down to her breasts.
v6 Mountain of myrrh, hill of frankincense (this is talking specifically of the female clitoris) which is located in the garden (vaginal area). Note he has not yet went inside of her. He is awaking her sexually too.
v7: He continues to tell her how beautiful she is and talk tenderly too her.
v8: He wants her to come away with him to forget everything but him.
v9: He tells her how much she turns him on.
v10: He tells her how good she smells

v11-v16: When a woman is ready for intercourse? These verses will give you the answer.
v11: Honey and milk are under your tongue. When a woman is ready for intercourse the act of sex there is a change in her mouth. How do you know you have to kiss her and it will taste sweet like honey. He doesn't move off her clitoris until he tastes honey.
v12: He is talking about her being a virgin here. Her hymen is still intact. He's working on fondling here.
v13: Also a woman will start to ooze fluid from her vaginal area (channel). Everything gets really wet. He is talking about her smell here. Not a perfume.
v14-15: She is fondling her and she has an orgasm (streams from Lebanon). 
v16: She is bidding him to come into her garden: (Have sex with her). She is fully awake and ready for sex so she really wants him.

Chapter 5

v1: So he does and man is satisfied. God is also blessing this couple. Eat, drink, and be drunk with love. This is the end of this love making session.

Marriage sex and some lessons learned

v2: Kings and Queens slept in different rooms. So here he has come to her and wants to have sex.
v3: Her response was that she didn't wanna get dressed again or get her feet dirty to open the door.
v4: So he tries to unlock the door, he showed her how interested he really was and she realized she really wanted him too.  

***Sometimes our husbands want us and we don't realize how much so by denying him he may stop trying to get us interested because he is heart broken and he is afraid of rejection.

v5: so she jumps up to open the door. He left myrrh on the door, he had groomed himself for her.
v6: He had already left. So she tried to find him.
v7: She was slightly humbled because she had put him off and they made fun of her.
v8: She now yearned for him and wanted the message passed to him.
v9: Others asking what make your lover so much better than any other that we should pass this message to him.
v10-15: She tells them what he is like all the good things.
v16: He sweet talks her and is her lover and friend

Chapter 6:

v1: They are looking with her to find him. Also this is a good lesson to seek reconciliation quickly when an offense happens. When one is hurt go to him or her.
v2: This is where we find the guy. He didn't do anything rash he went to work tending the sheep. 
v3 she goes to him and admits fault.
v4-v7: He doesn't lecture and doesn't recount the fault. He extends grace and tells her how beautiful she is. Tirzah is a beautiful city in Israel.

***This is a good lesson on making things right again.   Seek forgiveness and extend grace to those who have hurt you.  

v8-v10: There are a lot of others fish in the pond but you are number one. My interest in you is not only sexual.  

***If the only thing to your marriage is physical attraction you may be in for a world of hurt.  You will never look as good as when you were when first got married.   Love is a verb it requires action not just feelings.  Feelings are result of action.

v11-12: She checks him out to see if he is still interested. The whole down his pants sort of thing.
v13-14: “Dance before two armies” is a seductive wedding dance. Think of this as the I can't keep my hands or lips to myself as we find a place to lay down.

Chapter 7:

v1: He starts this time at her feet.  He also moves up to her legs.
v2: He is fondling her here (navel- womb, inner genital).
v3: Plays with her breasts.
v4: Kissing neck and going back to a facal focus
v5: He continues to complement her.
v6-v7: He sweet talks her.
v8-v9 He does the check to see if she is ready with her mouth and kisses.
v10: She is happy he still desires her
v11-v13: She wants to go away and discover what really makes him happy sexually and learn about each other and each others bodies.

Chapter 8:

v1: I wanted you even before I could get you.
v2-v3: She tells him of her dreams of him and her desire for him.
v4: She remembers and tells others “it is worth the wait”
v5: Now you see them coming out of the wilderness the next morning. She recounts waking him the next morning.
v6: Here she says seal me in your heart and on your arm. Their love is Intimate
Strong as death, passion fierce as the grave. Flashes of fire, raging flame: Their love is intense
v7: Cannot quench there love. Their love is indestructible
More valuable than wealth: Their love is valuable

v8: Here the brothers are talking: The brothers protect her virginity until her marriage.
v9: The brothers say if she is a wall we will reinforce the wall: meaning we will still protect her even if she protects herself already. If she is a door: She doesn't protect herself we will protect her.

v10: She says she was a wall and he was the first one her heart desired.
v11: Solomon had a harem with other women each entrusted to a keeper.
v12 She kept her self for him and she is more valuable then all his harem.
v13: They are saying good bye
v14: They tell each other to hurry back.

Thanks for Joining me on this study!  My prayer for you is a better relationship with your spouse.   

Check out my Study on Job!  




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